Surf and Turf

Ahh - summer ... the time to watch lovely tanned bodies in tank tops and short shorts ...

Whoops! Wrong blog!

I am sad to announce that LargeLadiesClothing  is gone. Defunct. Kaput. Our (in)famous bug-eyed model complete with thyroid has moved on to bigger and better things.

Perhaps, like a carnival side show.

But I digress ... thanks to the tireless work of Mary McFat (http://www.casagordita.com/clothing.htm), we still have oodles and oodles of ugly fat girls and even uglier fat fashions to review!

Today's review will focus on BBW Boutique (http://www.bbwboutique.com/) which, according to their own mission statement, is:

Where you can be the woman you are, not the woman others want you to be!
Designers of Original Fashions for Plus Size by Plus Size Women in sizes 1X-7X

Obviously, there is a vast, untapped well of self-hatred going on here.

Our first item is a slinky see-thru black blouse. The "Princess/ Denim Lace Top."

This is part of their "Princess" line ... I wonder if they mean clothing or tarps for the cruise ships...

Remember, black is slimming ... and it's doing wonders for the rolls of fat cascading down the model's back in the photograph and artfully hiding the massive dewlaps on the arms with it's delightful material. Plus, it helps cinch the waist (and explode more rolls of fat) with the built in corset.

And who doesn't love a zipper in the front of a blouse? That just screams "I'm too fat to reach behind me" or perhaps "stroke victim."

The other item that needs to be seen to be believed is the "Batik Sarong Inspired Tropical Wrap Skirt." The captioning says that you can wrap it around at your underarms to cover a swimsuit.

The burning question - "Can you tie it around the top of your head too?"

Can this be made into a "Batik Sarong Inspired Tropical Burqa" ?? I'd cover my face - not from modesty, but from shame.

Look at this model. Look. At. Her. If you're that big, why are you wearing a bikini top? And metallic purple to boot? And nothing proclaims sexy - and dare we say, "tawdry" and "wanton" - like a butterfly tattoo on your bosom? Or is that a Fell Beast?

I also like the fact that the flowers draw your eye down towards the ground, and to the cankles. It helps to distract the viewer from the muffin-top (or in this instance, mega wedding cake top) draping over the top of the skirt.

I'm very glad she is wearing the sarong ... I can only imagine the metallic purple bikini bottom that the sarong conceals. The rolls of fat, cellulite and whatever is giving me uncontrollable shudders.

You may be wondering why this post was titled "Surf and Turf" - well, it's obvious with the saguaro cacti in the background that we are in the middle of some desert in the American Southwest and we have these rather ... gravitic ... cetaceans modeling the fat-wear.

At least neither model appears to have thyroid ...